heihoo... ada A short story that retells Jamie and Ryan's first kiss from Ryan's point of view nih...

 heihoo... ada A short story that retells Jamie and Ryan's first kiss from Ryan's point of view nih... 

 

Kissing Jamie Baker

A Ryan Miller short story

Only three things in the world have ever truly blown my mind.

The first was when my dad explained the truth about Santa Clause. The jolly old guy was my idol. He had been my whole life. He drove the sweetest ride, gave me lots of presents, and lived on a diet of cookies and hot chocolate. Seriously—Coolest. Dude. Ever.  

When I was seven my mom was helping me write a letter to him like she did every year. My dad walked in the room, gave my mom a look, took the letter from me, and, with a sigh, said, “Son, you’re practically a man now.” I’d beamed at the praise until he followed it with, “So it’s time we blow this Santa crap out of the water before your momma turns you into a complete sissy.” When my eyes got really big my dad gave me a grim smile and said, “You don’t want the other kids at school to make fun of you, do you?”

I shook my head and proceeded to pay close attention as he explained that Santa was, in fact, not real. While he was at it he also debunked the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the X-men. Life as I’d known it was changed forever.

The second life-bomb came when my mom met Gene. Her divorce with Dad had come as no surprise, and while it sucked, it was sort of a relief too. My parents’ fighting was exhausting, and I was glad to see it end. But mom was pretty messed up for a while, so two years later when she hadn’t so much as looked at another man—to my knowledge anyway—and she got engaged, I was floored.

Mom explained that she’d met Gene a month before at some self-help seminar, and that they’d been getting to know each other via the internet ever since. She hadn’t wanted to worry me until she was sure things were serious, but they’d fallen in love faster than she’d ever anticipated. It was the first I’d ever even heard of the guy’s existence and he was asking my permission to marry my mother. Unreal.

I don’t lose my temper often, but if Mom hadn’t looked so disgustingly happy I might have decked the guy. Instead I shook his hand and said welcome to the family. Then I nearly peed my pants when he took us back to his “house” and I discovered he was essentially Daddy Warbucks and was flying us all on his private jet to his villa in Tuscany for the summer where they would be married.

After that I never thought anything would surprise me ever again. Then one day I made a random bet with Mike Driscoll and my world wasn’t just changed, it was rocked so hard that I was changed. Sure, I’d survived Santa and a step-dad relatively unscathed, but one encounter with the Ice Queen and I was never the same again.

 

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